I haven't posted in a while due to a host of idiotic reasons, so I thought the best way to get back into the swing of things would be to do this:
Below are thoughts that went through my head (and that I subsequently jotted down), while watching the Mets against the Braves tonight. Instead of having the sound on the TV - and subjecting myself to Tomahawk Chop chants after infield hits with 2 outs in the 2nd inning - I instead listened to 3 beatles albums as I took the game in. I started with Please Please Me, then went to Beatles For Sale, and closed with Revolver. By the time I was done (and the Mets were done), I felt like eating a bag of mushrooms and running around the neighborhood. But I digress...
Top of the 1st-
-I realize that even 1st pitch strikes to Reyes in the top of the 1st inning perturb me.
Top of the 2nd-
- Luis Castillo batting 8th means having two 9 spots with horrendous hitting pitchers back to back (cue ass out strike out by Castillo with runners on 2nd and 3rd). Awesome timing. Castillo is starting to remind me of Al Leiter, but with less power.
Bottom of the 2nd-
-Carlos Delgado is like Roger Dorn, without the golfing skills and hot wife. "What do you want me to do, dive for it?" Mind you, I thought about this when a grounder wasn't even hit near him. Just the sight of him is enough to conjure up these thoughts.
-I've never seen Mike Pelfrey get this many swings and misses - ever. His fastball is consistently in the mid 90's with great location.
-Gregor Blanco (who just K'd looking), should stop arguing and instead go ask his parents where the last letter of his name went.
-Luis Castillo has no bat, diminishing range, and is now lolipopping his throws to 1st base. Not cool....
Top of the 3rd-
-Leadoff single for Jose (is uppercut Reyes gone)?
-Before I could even come up with something to say after the Mets took a 1-0 lead, Beltran grounded into a 4-6-3 DP.
Bottom of the 3rd-
-Pelfrey is being an animal (as he K's Infante for the 1st out).
-And just as Pelfrey is dropping heat on the Braves, there goes Moises Alou to drop heat in the clubhouse. Lovely.
-At this point with all the various ailments, freak concussions, diarrhea in the middle of games, sick parents....I wouldn't be surprised if Jose Reyes dropped his glove, unzipped his skin and Gene Shalit popped out.
-Thanks for the double clutch Luis. Way to earn that money! Luis Castillo, wow.
-Right after Luis Castillo fails to end the inning, there goes a rocket over Endy's head. It is now Luis Castillo/Braves 2, Mets 1.
-The curse of the in-game diarrhea...Marlon Anderson with the awful misplay, Luis Castillo/Braves 3, Mets 1. Just what in the hell was Marlon Anderson doing?
Top of the 4th-
I've made it through Please Please Me and Beatles For Sale, and am immersed in Revolver. For the record, "Love You To" by George Harrison started before the Mets came to bat in the Top of the 4th, and ended after they had already made 3 outs. The song is 2 minutes and 52 seconds long.
Now going with the "Love You To" theme, a musical interlude.....
................"Each Mets at bat goes so fast, I turn around it's passed"...................
Bottom of the 4th-
-There goes a blooper right over Luis Castillo's head for a single. No attempt to dive or stretch. If it was legal, I'd kidnap him and chain him to a parking meter.
Top of the 5th-
-I can't hear the Giuseppe Franco commercial, and it's breaking my heart.
-Mark Tex slides and backhands Pelfrey's sharp grounder and records the out. It's nice watching a 1st baseman that tries.
-Reyes has been on base all 3 times, and the Mets have 1 run. Bad combo.
Bottom of the 5th-
-4 to 1 Braves as Chipper takes Pelfrey out to dead center to open the inning. I'm starting to lose my mind.
-Here's a grounder down the RF line, and an error by Endy Chavez. I am without speech.
....And with that, the in-game blogging is over. If the Mets come back to win, we can all read this and laugh about how bleak the situation was. Does anyone really expect that to happen?